Sing Your Song

Certainty
Perfection
Absolute clarity

At times, we look for this desperately
In hopes it will bring what we are trying to find

Yet, certainty becomes a wall
Certainty leads to extremes that often have little evidence at all
Eventually it crumbles and falls
As this world moves, it’s not one to stand fixed and tall

Now please don’t get me wrong
I am not talking about deeply held virtues or faith
About the belief in mystery and connections beyond what we can see
I’m talking about the extremes

This is all right; That is all wrong
All good, all bad
With us, or against us
These dichotomies are built on so many lies and insecurities
It’s hard to describe

This kind of certainty alienates us from one another
When we are living life with absolute certainty
We can no longer compassionately hear those who are struggling
We can no longer hear those with a different point of view even if it’s strikingly true
They simply bring too much fear to what we are masking to stay clear

Don’t get me wrong, certainty is not without attraction
The idea we could know this love would never die
Or healing would be sure to happen if we did this one thing right
That we could always have clear sign posts through each stage of our lives

Who wouldn’t want that?

Yet in chasing certainty, we run away from each other and ourselves
We need to learn how to navigate the mess and tolerate some distress
Walk through the chaos and the storms
Know that there is light with every single morn

To trust we’ll know how to get there
Even when there’s no GPS or step by step manual for how we’ll do it
We’ll get there with perseverance, courage and care

Of course, we are to learn from those who’ve gone before
Seek guidance of trusted friends, family members and mentors

To lessen expectations
Yet steadfastly build hope
To release the need for perfection
Yet, find meaningful ways of contribution

There is no doubt uncertainty is a vulnerable space
We may have to face shame, fear and our struggle for worthiness
In other words, yes, we will have to face some of the mess

Yet, uncertainty is also the birth place of
Joy,  belonging, creativity and love (Brown B, 2011)
This just won’t be experienced, if you’re all armored up

Surrounded with expectations of what you think life should be
These expectations often trickle down not only to you, but also to me
And I think you might agree this is not how we deep down want to be

We want to be accepting
So let’s trade perfection for compassion
Certainty for vulnerability
Numbing for resiliency
Comparison for creativty (Brown B., 2012)

For you are you are you
Only you can decide to show up
And have the courage to not only to show up, but be  seen (Brown B., 2017)

To enter the arena of life in all of its challenges and awe-striking beauty
And sing your story; sing the song that is yours to sing
In doing so, our lives take on much greater meaning
Than any “perfect” drawing we might have once imagined in a dream

 

 

 

References

Brown, B. (2011). The Power of Vulnerability. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iCvmsMzlF7o&t=2s 

Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly. New York, USA: Penguin

Jarvis, C. (2017). Brené Brown: The Quest for True Belonging. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gm9JrYhF-Bk&t=2156s

 

Striving not to Strive

For those familiar to the world of meditation
You may have heard the concepts of non-judgement and non-striving
They are surprisingly simple to understand
Yet in practice, it doesn’t quite go as planned

Non-judgement is simply applying the principle
It is neither good nor bad
It simply is what it is
This is not unawareness, in fact it is quite the opposite

It is seeing something clearly
Without jumping to conclusions too quickly that can distort reality
It is recognizing times when events in our lives are more likely neutral
And jumping out of the spiral of rights and wrongs that can have such a pull

Non-striving is the intentional act of ceasing to goal set
You do what you do simply for the act of doing it
If you need to make a goal, let it be to just try
And then write on a piece of paper and let it fly

Perhaps you’ve recognized this is incredibly counter-cultural
To our faced-paced western society where goals and judgements
Seem to be taken as a matter of survival
Where doing has taken the place of being
Acceptance has been displaced by protection from perceived rivals

Perhaps that’s why in part it’s not quite as easy as I might have imagined
As I’ve written, these principles rarely go as planned

Continue reading

The Upside Down “Cure” to Pain

We are in an age where our “Sunday best” has reached a whole new stage
We are filled with scenes after scenes of everyone’s highlights
And this has become the modern day painting of “life”

Now just imagine the confusion when we get hit right between the eyes
With this unavoidable thing called strife

With pain that flows and inflames
Pain that settles, but doesn’t quite go away
Pain we were not prepared for or taught how to keep at bay

Suddenly we feel rather displaced  Continue reading

Teaching what we need to Teach

For me, advocacy is not about picket signs or saying the right lines
Advocacy is about seeing something that needs to change
Gathering together and doing the work to chart a new way

Trouble is these days, so much needs to change
Yet, there are commonalities
We need to move away from disconnection to integration
From judgement to compassion
We need to move towards more holistic education

Continue reading

“I am” – Telling our Own Stories

Background: There is incredible power in telling our own stories. One of the most influential TED talks I have watched is the Danger of a Single Story by Chimamanda Adichie. She talks about what it was like to constantly be placed in the “single story” of a person from Africa. She speaks about how having these single stories for a huge (in some cases enormous) groups of people is the root of many prejudices today. So what do we do with the single story? We make it into a chorus of harmonies. We add our own unique voice one by one by one.

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Discovering Stories

Stories are powerful things

They ignite our imagination

And lead to new understanding and determination

They show us how others too

Have faced great challenges and pain

They made it through

Yet there are times you go searching the pages

And find you are looking for a story that is not from one of the former ages

You are looking for your own story

Written a few chapters ahead

You are looking for your story

To know things really do turn out in the end

To know even when your strength fails

There’s someone by your side

Even when the rain pours

You’ll keep walking through the tears you’ve cried

Sometimes you need to stop looking and reading

And start observing and writing

Start writing the next chapter in your own book

This is what you may have been looking for all along

This is the story where you most truly belong

It’s hard to be in a story that has not yet been fully written out

There is no quick way to flip to the end and reassure your doubts 

Yet as you hold on to your pen also hold on to this

You are loved

You are cherished

You have something of great merit

To offer this planet

Be it a smile or a small act of kindness

You are here to create a little joy in the mess

You are here rain, sun, snow, or clouds

You are here discovering how

To keep writing your story with a well trained eye

For the moments of gratitude 

That frequently pass each one of us by